When They Say No: 8 Ways to Introduce In-Home Care for Seniors

8 tips to make in-home care for seniors more acceptable and how to ease them into it

Get seniors to accept in-home care so you can take breaks

You desperately need regular breaks, but your older adult absolutely refuses an in-home caregiver. What can you do?

Seniors often won’t admit they need help, even if they’re struggling with everyday tasks. In-home care can be a sensitive subject that leads to arguments or an immediate shutdown when you bring it up.

Your older adult might see it as a waste of money, an insult to their abilities, or an invasion of privacy.

We found excellent advice from Family Caregiver Alliance with 8 ways to make the transition easier.

There are helpful tips on how to overcome this challenge and make in-home care for seniors more acceptable – even if your older adult initially said no.

Here, we highlight the key points from the article and include additional insights and suggestions.


8 ways to ease into in-home care for seniors

1. Start slowly and allow time for them to get used to the idea
Your older adult might need time to adjust to the idea of having someone in their house.

To ease the transition, start off slowly. At first, have the aide only come a few hours each week and focus on less personal tasks.

Then, add hours and additional tasks as your older adult becomes more comfortable with the idea and that person.


2. Listen to your older adult’s fears and reasons they don’t want in-home care
Instead of shutting down objections right away, let your older adult express their feelings.

They’re more likely to cooperate when they’ve been heard and know that their opinion matters.

Understanding their concerns also helps you address those fears. Even better, involve them in the hiring process so they can help choose the person who will be caring for them.


3. Help them retain dignity by saying it’s for you, not them
If you present the idea of in-home care as something that helps you rather than them, seniors might be more receptive.

That way they’re less likely to feel that they’re losing independence or aren’t capable.


4. Use the doctor’s authority and say that it’s a prescribed service
Many older adults respect authority figures like doctors and may be more willing to accept home care if they think the doctor has prescribed it.

Tell them that’s what the doctor said, create a fake “prescription,” or ask the doctor’s office for an “official” note on their stationery – whatever works best.

5. Use housekeeping needs as an excuse
Pretending that you need help with housekeeping and other chores is another way to ease an in-home caregiver into the house.

That makes it seem like it’s about your needs rather than theirs.


6. Pretend that it’s a free service
If your older adult isn’t directly paying for in-home care, you could pretend that it’s free.

That makes it more likely that they’ll be open to it since they’ll be taking advantage of a free service.


7. Introduce the caregiver as a friend
Another approach is to introduce the in-home caregiver as a friend of yours who needs some company.

That takes away the stigma of needing help and helps them trust the caregiver.


8. Tell them it’s a temporary arrangement
It may be more acceptable to start using in-home care if your older adult thinks it’s only temporary.

Once the in-home caregiver becomes a part of their routine and they adjust to the idea, it’ll be easier to continue using the services.


Next Step  Get more tips on easing your older adult into using in-home care in the full article at Family Caregiver Alliance


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By DailyCaring Editorial Team
Image: Bridges Healthcare Community & Nursing


This article wasn’t sponsored and doesn’t contain affiliate links. For more information, see How We Make Money.

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  • Reply November 5, 2021

    Aude E Robinson

    I am not sure that being dishonest is the best way to go.

    • Reply November 5, 2021


      It really depends on the situation. It’s certainly not anyone’s first choice, but if it’s absolutely necessary to get the needed help, then it is one option.

  • Reply June 29, 2021

    Diane Seegers

    Daily Caring is a great reference in educating oneself on meeting the needs of your loved one.
    The Alzheimer’s/Dementia information on why these people become mean was most valuable to me.
    I shared this information and website with my caregiving support group that I received from my husband’s neurologist.

    • Reply June 29, 2021


      We’re so glad our articles are helpful. Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Reply December 16, 2020

    Sam Butler

    yea i keep reading about all these ways to ease like they work…what if the elder is absolutely adamant even after using all these approaches??? any advice then??? i bet a lot more of these adamant types exist than anyone likes to admit…wheres the help for those of us in this situation?

    • Reply December 18, 2020


      Unfortunately, if the person is still able to make their own decisions (there’s no diagnosed cognitive impairment) and take care of their own daily needs, you can’t force them to accept help. They are a competent adult, even if they’re not making the best decision for themselves.

      The only option is to continue to discuss the issue and try to understand what’s causing their refusal. Sometimes, understanding why they don’t want assistance can help you find ways to overcome those objections.

      This article might be helpful – How to Communicate With an Aging Parent Who Won’t Listen https://dailycaring.com/how-to-communicate-with-an-aging-parent-who-wont-listen/

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