Moving to Assisted Living: 5 Ways to Know When It’s Time

Moving to assisted living is a complex and often heart-wrenching decision for caregivers.

Guilt, promises made, and feelings of obligation make it even harder.

Key Takeaways: Signs it may be time for Assisted Living
-Aggression is a safety issue. Ongoing violent behavior may make home care unsafe.
–Care needs are too much. When supervision or physical help becomes unmanageable, a move may be necessary.
-If your loved one is exit-seeking, memory care may be the safer option.
-Assisted living may be more affordable than increasing in-home care.
-You’re burned out. Severe caregiver stress can make it unsafe to continue at home.

Because there are so many emotions involved, it can be tough to know when a move is needed, especially when you’re trying to put off having to make that tough decision for as long as possible.

However, sometimes caring for someone at home becomes unsafe or unsustainable.

We share five signs to help you determine when your loved one may need to consider assisted living.

5 ways to know if moving to assisted living is needed

1. Your loved one behaves aggressively

Some older adults, often those with dementia, may behave aggressively or violently.

If trying different ways to reduce this behavior or medication doesn’t help, it puts you and the person in danger of getting seriously injured.

It also adds a lot of additional emotional stress to an already stressful situation.

2. Their care needs have become too high for safe home care

Over the years, most older adults experience a decline in their physical and mental health and abilities.

Unfortunately, no matter how high the quality of care, aging and serious diseases will keep progressing.

One day, your loved one's care needs may become more than you can safely handle at home.

For example, if someone now needs constant supervision and care (including waking many times at night), moving to assisted living may be required. It’s challenging for one or two people to sustain that intensity of care over the long term.

Or, if your loved one is significantly larger or heavier and develops mobility issues, it will become physically impossible or dangerous for you to help them move around.

3. They constantly try to leave the house and are at high risk of getting lost or injured

Many people with dementia want to wander or have the idea that they need to go somewhere.

Unfortunately, the damage in their brain means they typically don’t know how to get places, how to get back home, and how to avoid accidents or injury.

People with dementia can often get outside the house in the blink of an eye – or in the time it takes for you to use the restroom or get them a glass of water.

If you’ve secured the house as much as possible, but they’re still able to get out, it may be time to consider a move to a fully secured memory care community for their safety.

4. In-home care costs are too high

Hiring an in-home caregiver is expensive. As older adults require more care, they’ll need increasingly more help.

Over time, the cost of hiring caregiving help can exceed the available financial resources.

When that happens, it may be financially necessary to move to an assisted living community.

Assisted living costs are also high, but may be more affordable than the amount of in-home care that’s needed.

5. You’re overwhelmed by chronic, severe caregiver stress

Feeling stressed from the responsibility and hard work of caregiving is to be expected, but when stress levels are too high for too long, it can seriously affect your health and well-being.

When that happens, your ability to care for your loved one can be significantly diminished, sometimes to the point where you’re no longer able to care for them safely.

Deciding to move a loved one to assisted living is never easy. But when safety, care needs, or caregiver stress reach a tipping point, it may be the best option for everyone involved.

Watching for these signs can help you make a thoughtful, informed decision that prioritizes both your loved one’s well-being and your own.

Recommended for you:

• 3 Reasons to Stop Feeling Guilty About a Move to Assisted Living
• When to Move to Assisted Living? Advice from a Social Worker
• How to Choose an Assisted Living Facility: Helpful Checklist and Tips

About the Author

Connie Chow

Connie was a hands-on caregiver for her grandmother for 20 years. (Grandma made it to 101 years old!) She knows how challenging, overwhelming, and all-consuming caring for an older adult can be. She also knows how important support is — especially in the form of practical solutions, valuable resources, and self-care tips.