An experienced social worker shares advice on when someone needs assisted living
One of the toughest choices a caregiver has to make is the decision to move their older adult to assisted living.
Even thinking about it can make someone feel terribly guilty, especially when theyāve promised to never put their older adult in a nursing home.
But keeping that promise isnāt always realistic.
Safety concerns, serious health issues, and specialized care needs are the top reasons to consider assisted living.
To help you make this difficult decision, we asked experienced social worker Florence Marchick for advice.
Sheās worked with aging adults and their families for over 24 years, so sheās had experience counseling many families as they figure out which choice works best for their older adult.
We share Florence’s 3 top questions that will help you decide if moving to assisted living is the right choice at this time.
3 top questions help you decide on a move to assisted living
Itās difficult to make a decision when there are so many conflicting thoughts and emotions clouding your thoughts.
To make it easier to answer the question āwhen does someone need assisted living?,ā Florenceās advice is to focus on the most important considerations by asking these 3 questions.
1. Is it increasingly difficult or unsafe to provide hands-on care for your older adult?
What started out as a manageable job could have slowly turned into something that one person canāt handle alone.
The changes can creep up on you, so now is the time to take a fresh, honest look at your situation.
For example, if your older adult has become completely incontinent, it could be too much to handle at home.
Or, their aggressive behavior might not be responding to non-drug techniques or medications, putting everyoneās safety at risk.
In some cases, if your older adult needs significant help moving around, assisting them on your own could be dangerous, especially if youāre smaller in size. They could fall or you could get seriously injured.
2. Does your older adult need specialized care?
If your older adultās medical condition now requires specialized medical care or 24/7 supervision, you probably wonāt be able to provide that care.
Youāre not a medical professional and itās simply impossible for one person to be on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
For example, if your older adultās dementia causes them to wander constantly (even at night), consider a memory care community where trained staff and a specially-designed environment can keep them safe at all hours.
Or, if your older adult is bedridden and needs careful repositioning every hour to prevent bed sores, 24/7 care at an assisted living community is a good option.
3. Do you feel resentful, emotionally drained, or chronically tired?
Caregiver stress and burnout is a very real thing. It negatively affects your quality of life today and your overall health in the long term.
Have you started hating your older adult, feeling overwhelming resentment, not liking who youāve become, or disliking your own behavior?
Those are all signs that itās time to make a change.
If youāre in such a negative place, itās not possible to care for your older adult in the calm and positive manner they need.
Consider the benefits of assisted living
Most people say they want to stay in their homes as they age, but it’s not always possible.
For the right situation, assisted living facilities or residential care homes can improve the quality of life for your older adult and you.
In addition to a safer environment and higher level of care, your older adult will have the chance to be more social and interact with other people.
Youāll also be able to go back to being their companion and advocate rather than being focused on their physical care.
Recommended for you:
- Moving to Assisted Living: 5 Ways to Know When Itās Needed
- How to Choose an Assisted Living Facility: Helpful Checklist and Tips
- 5 Assisted Living Facts You Probably Donāt Know
Florence Marchick has a Masterās in Social Work and has been working in the field since 1978. For over 24 years, she had worked with older adults. Before her retirement, she was the social worker at Rosener House Adult Day Services program in Menlo Park. This included working with families during the enrollment process, family counseling, and running several support groups for caregivers. Rosener House offers an enriched therapeutic day program in a caring protective environment. Rosener House promotes independence and dignity for aging adults facing challenges and limitations, including Alzheimerās, dementia, early memory loss, mild cognitive impairment, stroke, Parkinsonās, and other chronic conditions.
By DailyCaring Editorial Team
Image: Residential Healthcare Group
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Carla C Pearson
My son has autism , asperger’s syndrome, PDD, …. Is there any help him…..? I do need help…
DailyCaring
We’re not familiar with social services for disabilities since we’re a site that supports families who are caring for seniors. You may want to contact your city or county’s offices to see if they have a department that can provide advice and help.
Evelyn Wilson
My roommate had a stroke and is un able to do for his self . What can I do I am unble to help him . Because of my pain and conditions .Help
DailyCaring
It sounds like you could help him by either finding a family member or friend who would physically be able to help or to pay for an in-home caregiver. Or, if his care needs are high and it’s not possible for someone to care for him in the home, he may need to move to a care community.
We’ve got some suggestions here on hiring in-home caregiving help:
– 7 Steps for Hiring a Caregiver for In-Home Help https://dailycaring.com/7-steps-for-hiring-a-caregiver-for-in-home-help/
– Affordable In Home Care: 8 Ways to Lower Senior Care Costs https://dailycaring.com/affordable-in-home-care-8-ways-to-lower-senior-care-costs/
– 3 Tips to Help You Choose Between Assisted Living vs In Home Care https://dailycaring.com/3-tips-to-help-you-choose-between-assisted-living-vs-in-home-care/
– 7 Senior Housing Options: Which One Works Best? https://dailycaring.com/senior-housing-options-overview/
JMP
This would be hard to say in my situation. My mil has Dementia and I have to watch her 24/7. The problem is she is a South Pacific Islander and speaks 10% English. The family says āThey would not understand herā Plus she cannot be left alone. I think Senior Day Care would be to her advantage. If medi-cal covers it why not try and see if it works for her. I am not a racist. But to find someone that can understand the language it is difficult. She is of a 4- yr old person. She needs the proper care now!
DailyCaring
Care is very personal, so sharing the same language and culture can make a big difference. To get some help, you might want to ask around among the South Pacific Islander community to find out if there are any caregivers who are looking for work.
Hiring someone to help could give you much-needed regular breaks — 24/7 care is exhausting and tough to sustain over time.
These articles may also be helpful:
— 7 Steps for Hiring a Caregiver for In-Home Help https://dailycaring.com/7-steps-for-hiring-a-caregiver-for-in-home-help/
— Affordable In Home Care: 8 Ways to Lower Senior Care Costs https://dailycaring.com/affordable-in-home-care-8-ways-to-lower-senior-care-costs/
— Keeping Aging Parents at Home: 5 Top Caregiving Tips https://dailycaring.com/keeping-aging-parents-at-home-5-top-caregiving-tips/