How to Talk to Someone With Dementia: Calm, Positive Body Language

Use nonverbal communication techniques to talk to someone with dementia. They make caregiving easier and improve quality of life for both of you.

Use calm, positive body language to talk to someone with dementia

Communicating with someone with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia can be made easier with some new techniques.

The damage in their brain has changed the way your older adult hears, processes, and responds to conversation.

That’s why it’s necessary to adapt the way we communicate to match their abilities.

Often, the nonverbal messages we send with our body language and facial expressions come through more clearly than the words we speak.

And sometimes, the nonverbal messages don’t match the words we use, which causes confusion.

But when we use body language and facial expressions that help seniors clearly and easily understand our meaning, it reduces confusion, agitation, and anger and also increases cooperation.

Using these nonverbal communication techniques to talk to someone with dementia makes caregiving easier and improves quality of life for both of you.

We explain what nonverbal communication is and share 6 helpful tips that you can start using today.


What are nonverbal dementia communication techniques?

There are many different types of nonverbal communication, including:

1. Facial expressions
Your face can express emotions without saying a word. And many facial expressions are the same across cultures, like happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust.

2. Body movements and posture
The way someone moves and carries themselves can say a lot about them, their mood, and their state of mind.

3. Gestures
When we talk, we use gestures without even thinking about it – waving, pointing, and using our hands when we’re angry or excited.

4. Eye contact
For people who can see, vision is the dominant sense. That’s why eye contact is so important.

The way you look at someone can say a lot. Plus, eye contact helps you see the other person’s engagement level and reactions.

5. Touch
Touch is another way to “speak” without using words.

For example, these mean very different things: a limp handshake, a gentle shoulder tap, a warm hug, a reassuring pat on the back, a patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on the arm.

6. Space
Everyone needs some physical space, though how much may vary for each person and situation.

For example, standing too close can make someone uncomfortable. But staying at too far a distance could seem uncaring or uninterested.

7. Voice
The tone and volume of your voice adds a lot of meaning to words.

For example, imagine saying “fine” during a heated argument compared to saying it when you’re happy and content. The same word sounds completely different.


6 nonverbal dementia communication techniques

1. Be patient and calm

  • Project a positive and calm attitude – it can help your older adult communicate more easily
  • Avoid body language that shows frustration, anger, or impatience
  • Try not to interrupt them
  • Give them your full attention

When a situation is very frustrating, staying calm can be tough.

In those cases, it’s worthwhile to step away for a minute to do some deep breathing or calming exercises so you can come back with a calm attitude.

That helps you avoid a situation where your tension or frustration could subconsciously influence your older adult’s responses or behavior.

2. Keep voice, face, and body relaxed and positive

  • Have a pleasant or happy look on your face – a tense facial expression could cause distress and make communication more difficult
  • Keep your tone of voice positive and friendly

3. Be consistent
Avoid confusion by making sure your body language and facial expressions match the words you’re speaking.

4. Make eye contact and respect personal space

  • Approach from the front so they can see you coming and have a chance to process who you are and the fact that you’re going to interact with them
  • Don’t stand too close or stand over them – it can feel intimidating
  • Keep your face at or below their eye level, this helps them feel more in control of the situation
  • Make and maintain eye contact while having a conversation

5. Use gentle touch to reassure
Physical touch can give comfort and reassurance, but be sure to observe to make sure they’re comfortable with the touching.

This could include:

  • Shaking hands
  • Patting or holding their hand
  • Patting or rubbing their shoulder or back
  • Putting an arm around them
  • Giving a hug

6. Observe their nonverbal reactions
Dementia may make it difficult for your older adult to express themselves verbally.

Watch for signs of frustration, anger, or fear and adjust your responses and actions to calm or soothe as needed.


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By DailyCaring Editorial Team


  • Reply December 20, 2022

    MaryAnn Lamb

    Very helpful and reassuring advice, my husband has the onset of dementia and is very mean. Your article really helped put this situation into perspective and thank you so much for the tips on how to respond in a loving and positive way ❤️Also the comments from other people going through this are very helpful that I am not alone or a bad person for my feelings., To everyone who is a caregiver to their loved one I hear you, this is a horrible sad situation but as a community we can lift each other up 🙏Thank you sending ❤️

    • Reply December 20, 2022


      You’re absolutely not a bad person and certainly aren’t alone. Dementia is challenging for everyone involved. We’re so glad this article is helpful 💜

  • Reply October 11, 2022


    Great site for caregivers. Currently myself and my patient are dealing with hallucinations/delusions. Any thoughts on how to deal with this would be most appreciated. Thanks for all you do.

  • Reply February 8, 2022

    Maureen Warren

    My husband has been in ‘residential care. now for 2 months. he is 73 years old, This is the worst time in our 55 years married . what happens to all the other ‘baby boomers’ who don’t have a computer???
    Have to say, happy to find your site. A little overwhelmed at the moment, didn’t know so many people are going through the same thing. Have to say, I have dealt with his cancer (bowel,liver, spine) over the last 4 years) Sorry to say, I wish he had got run over by a bus. Is that the worst thing a wife can say. I just want the ‘suffering’ to stop

  • Reply September 7, 2021


    I do appreciate all the information for my husband and myself however he has dementia and Parkinson’s which makes it so difficult to understand what he is trying to say.
    Any suggestions?
    Thank you

    • Reply September 7, 2021


      It can be challenging for someone with cognitive impairment to communicate clearly on top of processing information from conversations. It may be helpful to pay close attention to his nonverbal cues and behaviors rather than just on the words he uses.

      This article above shares nonverbal communication types that you can watch for to get a sense of his mood and to help you figure out what he’s trying to say.

  • Reply November 15, 2020

    Paul Thomas

    This information has been a great help as we are not getting any help or information from the G. P or social services

    • Reply November 15, 2020


      We’re so glad our articles are helpful! Thanks for the kind feedback.

  • Reply October 31, 2020

    Jane Patton

    How to respond to a dementia husband with facial expressions and touch and tone of voice etc was very useful.
    Thank you
    A great useful sight.

    Jane Patton

    • Reply November 1, 2020


      Thanks for the kind feedback! We’re so glad our articles are helpful.

  • Reply November 27, 2017

    Carol Paglino

    This is extremely helpful. I wish it could be printed out so I could refer to this article easily.

    • Reply December 5, 2017


      So glad our articles are helpful! Use the “Print this page” button at the end of the article to print out a printer-friendly page.

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