The holiday season can feel bittersweet when a loved one lives in assisted living. While you want to include them in the festivities, navigating visits and celebrations in their new home requires a different approach.
But with some thoughtful planning, you can create meaningful new traditions that honor the spirit of the season while respecting their needs and environment.
These heartfelt strategies will help you bridge the distance, fill their holiday with joy and connection, and ensure everyone feels the warmth of togetherness.
How to Celebrate the Holidays When Your Loved One Is in an Assisted Living Facility
Holidays in assisted living communities can still be fun, festive, and meaningful, even if it means creating new traditions.
Older adults in assisted living will feel loved and included when you find ways to bring the holiday spirit to them.
After all, what’s most important is spending quality time with people you care about.
3 Biggest Questions From Families Around the Holidays
Should You Bring an Older Adult Home for a Holiday Celebration?
If your mom doesn’t have Alzheimer’s disease or dementia and you can handle her physical needs and transportation, visiting the family home could be a great way to celebrate the holidays.
But before deciding, talk with her to see how she feels about it.
She may be concerned about getting too tired or needing help with personal care. Reassure her by explaining how her needs could be met.
If she’s feeling shy or worried she’ll be a burden during a fun time, remind her how much the family is looking forward to seeing her.
If your mom does have Alzheimer’s, dementia, or other cognitive impairments, it may be disorienting to take her out of a familiar environment. Staff members who know her well may be able to help you decide what would work best.
Some people with dementia enjoy festive events, but others are easily rattled by changes in routine, loud noise, or crowds.
If your mom is likely to get agitated, it might be better to have a quiet mini-celebration in her room or have a regular visit.
What Should You Do When an Older Adult Is No Longer Aware of the Holidays?
Even if your dad doesn’t seem engaged with the world, he’ll still enjoy spending time with you and your family.
You may or may not want to take him out of his memory care or assisted living community, depending on how well he usually does with outings.
If he typically enjoys going out, then it may be a good idea. If not, turn a visit into a festive occasion if that’s likely to bring him joy.
It’s a perfect time to reminisce over old photos, sing along or listen to holiday music, or admire cheerful decorations.
Unless he becomes agitated or upset by the activities, noise, or change in routine, seeing you in the holiday spirit will likely brighten his day.
VIDEO: When Your Loved One is in Assisted Living
What Festive Activities Work Well In Assisted Living?
If an older adult has dementia, a low-key approach to the holidays may work better.
Overstimulating holiday activities or busy decorations could be confusing or cause agitation.
First, start with a few simple decorations and smaller groups of visitors and see how things go. You can always add more or take some away, depending on how they react.
For seniors without cognitive impairment, find creative ways to involve them in family celebrations.
Reassure your older adult that they won't be forgotten or abandoned by telling them when you'll celebrate with them.
Here are some great activity suggestions:
- Decorate their room together – get a mini tree, use garland to make a tree-shaped outline on the wall and tape ornaments onto it, put a few decorative items around the room, or hang a wreath on the door
- Help them think of and purchase gifts for family members (especially grandkids) and then wrap them together
- Arrange a family visit and open presents together – it’s more fun when the whole group has presents to open
- For families living far away, arrange video chats so they can have virtual visitors
- Accompany them to a holiday event or meal hosted by the assisted living community
- Sing along with or listen to holiday songs together
- Watch a holiday-themed movie
- Work on a holiday-themed puzzle or a fun coloring page
Final Thoughts
Remember that the most precious gift you can give is your presence and understanding. By focusing on creating comfortable moments rather than recreating past celebrations, you'll build new memories that honor both your loved one's current reality and your shared history.
Whether through a simple, quiet visit or a small festive gathering in their community, what matters most is the love and connection you share. This holiday season, may you find joy in these new traditions and peace in knowing you're making their world brighter.
Recommended for you:
- 10 Fun Things to Do with Someone in a Nursing Home or Assisted Living
- Do’s and Don’ts for Visiting Someone with Dementia
- 50 Best Gifts for Seniors: Things You’ve Never Thought Of
About the Author
Connie is the founder of DailyCaring.com and was a hands-on caregiver for her grandmother for 20 years. (Grandma made it to 101 years old!) She knows how challenging, overwhelming, and all-consuming caring for an older adult can be. She also understands the importance of support, especially in the form of practical solutions, valuable resources, and self-care tips.
Don’t forget to consider hearing problems. Family gatherings too often devolve into too much chat over the head of and around the elder. One on one may not be possible in a group setting. Too much “noise” is confusing for the hard of hearing even if they do not have dementia
That’s a great point, even without any cognitive decline, the noise and bustle of a big gathering can be overstimulating. One idea is to arrange for them to stay in a quiet room away from the group. Then, family members can take turns spending quality time with them in their calm space.
Thank you. This answered so many questions I have.
You’re very welcome! We’re so glad this article is helpful.