Few sounds are as heart-wrenching and unsettling as the desperate scream or uncontrollable cry of a loved one with dementia. In these moments, it's easy to feel panic, helplessness, and even guilt, wondering what you've done wrong or how you can stop it.
Remember that this behavior isn't a personal attack or a deliberate act. It is a raw, unfiltered form of communication emerging from a brain struggling to process the world. The screaming is a symptom of an unmet need, a profound distress signal.
By learning to decode this signal, you can move from reacting in fear to responding with comfort, transforming moments of chaos into opportunities for connection and calm.
Dementia Can Cause Intense Emotional Outbursts
When caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, there may be times when they yell, scream, or cry.
They might yell “Help! Help!” at the top of their lungs or cry inconsolably for long periods.
This can be disturbing and upsetting for both of you.
It can also be frustrating because the person with dementia can’t explain what’s causing their distress, they can’t or won’t stop the behavior, and you don’t know how to help.
We explain common causes of screaming and crying in dementia and share 6 steps you can take to calm the situation immediately.
We also share eight longer-term solutions that help reduce the frequency and intensity of these episodes.
What Causes Screaming and Crying in Dementia?
Screaming, yelling, and crying in dementia can be caused by a variety of reasons, including:
- Fear
- Physical pain or discomfort
- Boredom
- Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, overtired, or agitated
- Feeling sadness or loss
- Hallucinations, delusions, or delirium
- Sundowning symptoms
- Loud, busy environment
- Depression
Typically, the distress or agitation that causes this behavior improves with non-drug methods, medication, or a combination of both.
14 Great Strategies for Handling Dementia Related Screaming and Crying
1. Stay calm
Take a deep breath and stay as calm as possible. If you get upset, it can unintentionally make your older adult feel even more upset because their body subconsciously matches yours.
Breathe deeply and slowly, exhaling fully, to help calm both of you. Speak slowly and keep your voice soft, reassuring, and positive.
If they’ll accept it, use a gentle, calming touch on the arm or shoulder to offer comfort and reassurance.
2. Identify the cause or trigger
A crying or yelling episode could be triggered by something like pain, fear, frustration, or boredom.
Take a moment to think about what happened just before it started, and jot down what you notice.
At first, these outbursts may seem random. But keeping a dementia journal can help you spot patterns and identify triggers.
At first, crying or yelling seems entirely random. Keep a small notebook handy and write down the 4 W's immediately after an episode to find the hidden pattern:
- Who was in the room? (Were there strangers or too many people?)
- What was happening? (Was the TV loud? Were you transitioning to the bath?)
- Where did it take place? (Are there shadows or mirrors causing fear?)
- When did it happen? (Does it always happen at 4:30 PM, indicating sundowning?)
3. Observe and listen for clues
Listen carefully to what they're saying to understand why they’re so upset.
For example, someone might say “Help! Help! I’m trapped!” or “No no no no no!” That could mean someone really wants to go outside or needs a change of scenery. Or something might be happening that’s making them feel scared or uncomfortable.
They might grab at their clothes or a specific part of their body, indicating they’re cold or hot, in pain, or have a physical need, like needing the toilet.
If they jab their finger at something, they could be frustrated trying to reach it, or it could be causing agitation. Or they might keep pushing at something because it’s bothering them, like a mirror or something loud or distracting.
Or, they might have hallucinations or paranoia that are making them anxious or scared.
4. Take care of physical needs
Sometimes, screaming or crying is the only way the dementia brain knows how to ask for help. If there may be a physical cause of their distress, address it right away.
That could mean giving them a pain reliever (approved by the doctor), taking them to the bathroom, fixing something that’s causing pain or discomfort, or getting them a snack or a drink of water.
It could also mean changing something in their environment, like turning down loud music, turning off the TV, moving away from bustle or activity, or covering mirrors or clutter.
5. Use calming techniques
Reducing your older adult’s agitation gives you a chance to solve the problem or distract and redirect to a pleasant activity.
If you can identify a clue to what’s causing the problem, use that information to calm the situation—address pain or a physical need, get some fresh air, find an enjoyable activity, etc.
If you’re not sure what the problem is, try different calming techniques. You know your older adult best, so try the things that often soothe them first.
6. Distract and redirect with comforting activities
Since logic and reasoning don’t work with someone who has dementia, try “distracting and redirecting” instead.
That’s when you look for a moment to introduce a distraction, then gradually transition into an enjoyable activity.
For example, you might offer your hand so they’ll instinctively reach out and take it. That allows you to provide gentle, calming pressure in their palm while you stroke their arm and soothingly say, “I think it’s time for a snack. Let’s get some [a food they like].” After eating the snack, suggest an activity you know they enjoy.
Another example is when someone yells that they’re trapped and need to get out. You might say, “I can understand why you're upset. Let’s get out of here right now. We need to get your jacket.” While you both go to collect their jacket, stop and look out the window at a bird or squirrel, get a snack, or visit the toilet. After that distraction, redirect them to an activity they’ll enjoy or, if possible, take them outside for fresh air and a change of scenery.
Never argue with their distress. Validate the emotion first, then redirect the environment:
“I can see how upset you are, and I am so sorry. Let's go to the kitchen and get a warm cup of tea together.”
“You are completely safe here. Look at that beautiful bird outside the window—let's go watch it.”
“I know this is frustrating. Could you do me a huge favor and help me fold these towels while we sit?”
Comforting activity suggestions:
- Listen to or sing along to their favorite songs
- Go outside for some fresh air and a dose of nature – even if it’s just sitting near an open door or window
- Provide comfort with a beloved pet, favorite stuffed animal, or baby doll
- Give the comfort of touch by holding hands or giving a gentle hand, shoulder, or back massage
- Invite them to “help” you with household tasks to give a sense of purpose. Simple, repetitive tasks are calming and help them succeed. Examples include: folding hand towels, sorting coins, or “organizing” the kitchen junk drawer.
- Have a favorite snack or drink; this is especially helpful if your older adult might be thirsty or hungry.
VIDEO: When a Person with Dementia is Screaming or Crying
7. Ask the doctor to review all medications
Sometimes, medication side effects, or the combination of medications, can cause disorientation and distress.
That includes anything they might be taking, not just prescription drugs.
Ask their doctor or pharmacist to review their complete list of prescription medications, vitamins, over-the-counter medications, and supplements.
8. Understand Whether Pain Management is Working
Pain that isn’t well managed can cause someone with dementia to scream or cry frequently. Talk with their doctor to find out if their current pain management treatment needs adjustment.
Be especially mindful if someone is still recovering from surgery (seniors can take much longer to heal) or if they have a chronic condition like arthritis that causes pain.
9. Identify Possible Triggers and Test Your Theories
Review your notes for patterns or triggers for their outbursts.
Think about ways to avoid these potential triggers, and experiment to see whether avoiding them reduces your older adult’s need to cry or yell.
10. Evaluate for Depression
Many seniors with Alzheimer’s or dementia are also dealing with depression. Frequent crying or calling out could be a sign of depression, along with additional symptoms.
It’s essential to have a doctor evaluate your older adult to find out if they could have depression so they can get proper treatment.
11. Establish a Regular Daily Routine
Following a daily routine gives your older adult’s day structure and predictability. This helps reduce stress and anxiety, which can contribute to crying or screaming episodes.
12. Create a Calm Environment
People with dementia are often susceptible to their surroundings. Creating a soothing living space helps minimize agitation, reduce challenging behaviors, and improve overall quality of life.
13. Reduce Daily Frustrations
When someone has dementia, their ability to complete everyday tasks declines.
Things that we do without thinking, like putting on a sweater when we’re cold or getting a glass of water when we’re thirsty, actually involve many steps.
For someone with dementia, remembering all those steps and sequencing them properly can be challenging. Getting frustrated over and over again during the day could trigger an outburst of crying or yelling.
Making everyday life easier can reduce stress, frustration, and feelings of failure, factors that can make someone very upset.
14. Speak to the Doctor About New Behavioral Medications
Suppose non-drug techniques aren't working, and these episodes of screaming or crying are affecting quality of life. In that case, it may be time to work with their doctor to carefully try behavioral medications to see if they help.
When used appropriately, behavioral medication can reduce or eliminate intense outbursts and improve your older adult's quality of life.
Frequently Asked Questions About Dementia and Crying
Why do dementia patients scream or cry uncontrollably?
Because dementia damages the brain's ability to communicate logically, screaming and crying are often the only ways a person can express an unmet need. Common triggers include physical pain (like a UTI or arthritis), fear, overstimulation from a loud environment, or underlying depression.
Should I medicate my loved one for dementia screaming?
Medication should rarely be the first response. Doctors recommend exhausting all non-drug interventions first, such as identifying triggers, treating hidden pain, and adjusting the environment. If behavioral outbursts pose a severe safety risk or destroy the patient's quality of life, a doctor may cautiously prescribe behavioral medications.
How do you calm down someone with dementia who is crying?
The most effective approach is to remain calm yourself. Do not use logic or argue with them. Instead, use a soft voice, offer gentle physical touch (if they are receptive), validate their distress, and gently redirect their attention to a comforting sensory activity, like listening to a favorite song or having a snack.
Final Thoughts on Dementia Screaming and Crying
Navigating these intense behaviors is one of caregiving's most demanding challenges, and your patience is a profound act of love. Remember, your goal is not to “fix” the person, but to comfort them; success is measured by a moment of peace, not permanent silence.
You are their anchor in a storm of confusion, and your calm, reassuring presence is your most powerful tool. Be kind to yourself as you experiment with these strategies—what works one day may not the next. You are learning a new language of compassion, and every effort you make to understand and soothe your loved one shows your unwavering dedication.
Recommended for you:
- How to Understand and Manage Dementia Behaviors: A Comprehensive Guide
- Keeping a Dementia Journal Makes Caregiving Easier: 7 Things to Track
- 10 Ways to Respond to Dementia Hallucinations in Seniors
About the Author
Connie is the founder of DailyCaring.com and was a hands-on caregiver for her grandmother for 20 years. (Grandma made it to 101 years old!) She knows how challenging, overwhelming, and all-consuming caring for an older adult can be. She also understands the importance of support, especially in the form of practical solutions, valuable resources, and self-care tips.
