14 Ways to Calm Dementia Screaming and Crying

Few sounds are as heart-wrenching and unsettling as the desperate scream or uncontrollable cry of a loved one with dementia. In these moments, it’s easy to feel a surge of panic, helplessness, and even guilt, wondering what you’ve done wrong or how you can possibly make it stop.

It is crucial to remember that this behavior is not a personal attack or a deliberate act. It is a raw, unfiltered form of communication emerging from a brain struggling to process the world. The screaming is a symptom of an unmet need, a profound distress signal.

By learning to decode this signal, you can move from reacting in fear to responding with comfort, transforming moments of chaos into opportunities for connection and calm.

Dementia Can Cause Intense Emotional Outbursts

When caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, there may be times when they yell, scream, or cry.

They might yell “Help! Help!” at the top of their lungs or cry inconsolably for long periods of time.

This can be disturbing and upsetting for both of you.

It can also be frustrating because the person with dementia can’t explain what’s causing their distress, they can’t or won’t stop the behavior, and you don’t know how to help.

We explain common causes of screaming and crying in dementia and share 6 steps you can take to immediately calm the situation.

We also share eight longer-term solutions that help reduce the frequency and intensity of these episodes.

What Causes Screaming and Crying in Dementia?

Screaming, yelling, and crying in dementia can be caused by a variety of reasons, including:

• Fear
• Physical pain or discomfort
• Boredom
• Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, overtired, or agitated
• Feeling sadness or loss
• Hallucinations, delusions, or delirium
• Sundowning symptoms
• Loud, busy environment
• Depression

Typically, the distress or agitation that causes this behavior improves with non-drug methods, medication, or a combination of both.

6 Great Strategies on Handling Dementia Related Screaming and Crying

1. Stay calm

Take a deep breath and stay as calm as possible. If you get upset, it can unintentionally make your older adult feel even more upset because their body subconsciously matches yours.

Breathe deeply and slowly, exhaling fully, to help calm both of you. Speak slowly and keep your voice soft, reassuring, and positive.

If they’ll accept it, use a gentle, calming touch on the arm or shoulder to offer comfort and reassurance.

2. Identify the cause or trigger

A crying or yelling episode could be triggered by something like pain, fear, frustration, or boredom.

Take a moment to think about what happened just before it started and jot down your observations.

At first, these outbursts may seem random. But taking notes and keeping a dementia journal can help you find patterns and identify triggers.

3. Observe and listen for clues

Listen carefully to anything they might be saying to try to understand why they’re so upset.

For example, someone might say “Help! Help! I’m trapped!” or “No no no no no!” That could tell you that someone really wants to go outside or needs a change of scenery. Or something might be happening that’s making them feel scared or uncomfortable.

They might grab at their clothes or a specific part of their body, indicating that they’re cold or hot, feeling pain, or have a physical need like needing the toilet.

If they jab their finger at something, they could be frustrated trying to reach it, or it could be causing agitation. Or they might keep pushing at something because it’s bothering them, like a mirror or something loud or distracting.

Or, they might have hallucinations or paranoia that are making them anxious or scared.

4. Take care of physical needs

Sometimes, screaming or crying is the only way the dementia brain knows how to ask for help. If it seems there could be a physical cause of their distress, address it right away.

That could mean giving them a pain reliever (approved by the doctor), taking them to the bathroom, fixing something that’s causing pain or discomfort, or getting them a snack or a drink of water.

Or it could mean changing something in their environment, like turning down loud music, turning off the TV, moving away from bustle or activity, or covering up mirrors or clutter.

5. Use calming techniques

Reducing your older adult’s agitation gives you a chance to solve the problem or distract and redirect to a pleasant activity.

If you’ve been able to identify a clue to what’s causing the problem, use that information to calm the situation—take care of pain or a physical need, go outside for some fresh air, find an enjoyable activity, etc.

If you’re not sure what the problem is, try different calming techniques. You know your older adult best, so if there are things that often work to soothe them, try those first.

6. Distract and redirect with comforting activities

Since logic and reasoning don’t work with someone who has dementia, try “distracting and redirecting” instead.

That’s when you look for a moment when you can introduce a distraction and then gradually transition into an enjoyable activity.

For example, you might offer your hand so they’ll instinctively reach out and take it. That allows you to provide gentle, calming pressure in their palm while you stroke their arm and soothingly say “I think it’s time for a snack. Let’s get some [a food they like].” After eating the snack, suggest an activity you know they enjoy.

Another example is if someone is yelling that they’re trapped and need to get out. You might say, “I can understand why you’re upset. Let’s get out of here right now. We need to get your jacket.” While you both go to collect their jacket, stop and look out the window at a bird or squirrel, get a snack, or visit the toilet. After that distraction, redirect them to an activity they’ll enjoy or, if possible, take them outside for a breath of fresh air and a change of scenery.

Comforting activity suggestions:

• Listen or sing along to their favorite songs
• Go outside for some fresh air and a dose of nature – even if it’s just sitting near an open door or window
• Provide comfort with a beloved pet, favorite stuffed animal, or baby doll
• Give the comfort of touch by holding hands or giving a gentle hand, shoulder, or back massage
• Invite them to “help” you with household tasks to give a sense of purpose. Simple, repetitive tasks are calming and help them succeed. Examples include: folding hand towels, sorting coins, or “organizing” the kitchen junk drawer.
• Having a favorite snack or drink – this is especially helpful if your older adult might be thirsty or hungry.

VIDEO: When a Person with Dementia is Screaming or Crying

8 Longer-Term Ways to Handle Dementia Related Screaming and Crying

1. Ask the doctor to review all medications

Sometimes, side effects from a medication or combination of medications can cause disorientation and distress.

That includes anything they might be taking, not just prescription drugs.

Ask their doctor or pharmacist to review their complete list of prescription medications, vitamins, over-the-counter medications, and supplements.

2. Understand Whether Pain Management is Working

Pain that isn’t well managed can cause someone with dementia to scream or cry frequently. Talk with their doctor to find out if their current pain management treatment needs adjustment.

Be especially mindful if someone is still recovering from surgery (seniors can take much longer to heal) or if they have a chronic condition like arthritis that causes pain.

3. Identify Possible Triggers and Test Your Theories

Review your notes to see if you can find any patterns or triggers to their outbursts.

Think about ways you can avoid these potential triggers and experiment to see if avoiding them reduces your older adult’s need to cry or yell.

4. Evaluate for Depression

Many seniors with Alzheimer’s or dementia are also dealing with depression. Frequent crying or calling out could be a sign of depression, along with additional symptoms.

It’s essential to have a doctor evaluate your older adult to find out if they could have depression so they can get proper treatment.

5. Establish a Regular Daily Routine

Following a daily routine gives your older adult’s day structure and predictability. This helps reduce stress and anxiety, which can contribute to crying or screaming episodes.

6. Create a Calm Environment

People with dementia are often susceptible to their surroundings. Creating a soothing place to live helps minimize agitation, reduce challenging behaviors, and improve overall quality of life.

7. Reduce Daily Frustrations

When someone has dementia, their ability to complete everyday tasks declines.

Things that we do without thinking, like putting on a sweater when we’re cold or getting a glass of water when we’re thirsty, actually involve many steps.

To someone with dementia, it can be challenging to remember all those steps and sequence them properly. And getting frustrated over and over again during the day could provoke an outburst of crying or yelling.

Making everyday life easier helps reduce stress, frustrations, and feelings of failure – factors that can make someone very upset.

8. Speak to the Doctor About New Behavioral Medications

Suppose non-drug techniques aren’t working, and these episodes of screaming or crying are affecting quality of life. In that case, it might be time to work with their doctor to carefully experiment with behavioral medications to see if they can help.

When used appropriately, behavioral medication can reduce or eliminate intense outbursts and improve your older adult’s quality of life.

Final Thoughts on Dementia Screaming and Crying

Navigating these intense behaviors is one of caregiving’s most demanding challenges, and your patience is a profound act of love. Remember, your goal is not to “fix” the person, but to comfort them; success is measured by a moment of peace, not permanent silence.

You are their anchor in a storm of confusion, and your calm, reassuring presence is your most powerful tool. Be kind to yourself as you experiment with these strategies—what works one day may not the next. You are learning a new language of compassion, and every effort you make to understand and soothe your loved one is a testament to your unwavering dedication.

Recommended for you:

• How to Understand and Manage Dementia Behaviors: A Comprehensive Guide
• Keeping a Dementia Journal Makes Caregiving Easier: 7 Things to Track
• 10 Ways to Respond to Dementia Hallucinations in Seniors