How to Talk to Someone With Dementia: Calm, Positive Body Language

When words fail, your silent language speaks volumes. For a loved one with dementia, who may struggle to process spoken sentences, your posture, your expression, and the energy you carry become the primary conversation.

A furrowed brow or rushed gesture can broadcast stress, escalating their confusion, while calm, open body language can be a lifeline to connection. Mastering this non-verbal dialogue isn’t just a technique—it’s a profound way to offer safety and love without saying a word.

Let’s explore how your physical presence can become your most powerful tool for fostering peace and understanding.

Use Calm and Positive Body Language When Speaking to Someone with Dementia

Communicating with someone with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia can be made easier with some new techniques.

Damage to their brain has changed the way your older adult hears, processes, and responds to conversation.

That’s why it’s necessary to adapt our communication to match their abilities.

Often, the nonverbal messages we send with our body language and facial expressions come through more clearly than the words we speak.

And sometimes the nonverbal messages don’t match the words we use, which can confuse.

But when we use body language and facial expressions that help seniors clearly and easily understand our meaning, it reduces confusion, agitation, and anger, and also increases cooperation.

Using these nonverbal communication techniques to talk to someone with dementia makes caregiving easier and improves the quality of life for both of you.

We explain what nonverbal communication is and share six helpful tips that you can start using today.

What are “Non-Verbal Dementia Communication Techniques”?

There are many different types of nonverbal communication, including:

1. Facial expressions

Your face can express emotions without saying a word. And many facial expressions are the same across cultures, like happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust.

2. Body movements and posture

The way someone moves and carries themselves can say a lot about them, their mood, and their state of mind.

3. Gestures

When we talk, we use gestures without even thinking about it – waving, pointing, and using our hands when we’re angry or excited.

4. Eye contact

For people who can see, vision is the dominant sense. That’s why eye contact is so important.

The way you look at someone can say a lot. Plus, eye contact helps you gauge the other person’s level of engagement and reactions.

5. Touch

Touch is another way to “speak” without using words.

For example, these mean very different things: a limp handshake, a gentle shoulder tap, a warm hug, a reassuring pat on the back, a patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on the arm.

6. Space

Everyone needs some physical space, though how much may vary from person to person and situation to situation.

For example, standing too close can make someone uncomfortable. But staying too far a distance could seem uncaring or uninterested.

7. Voice

The tone and volume of your voice add a lot of meaning to words.

For example, imagine saying “fine” during a heated argument compared to saying it when you’re happy and content. The same word sounds completely different.

6 Non-Verbal Dementia Communication Techniques

1. Be patient and calm

• Project a positive and calm attitude – it can help your older adult communicate more easily
• Avoid body language that shows frustration, anger, or impatience
• Try not to interrupt them
• Please give them your full attention

When a situation is very frustrating, staying calm can be tough.

In those cases, it’s worthwhile to step away for a minute to do some deep breathing or calming exercises so you can come back with a calm attitude.

That helps you avoid a situation where your tension or frustration could subconsciously influence your older adult’s responses or behavior.

2. Keep voice, face, and body relaxed and positive

• Have a pleasant or happy look on your face – a tense facial expression could cause distress and make communication more difficult
• Keep your tone of voice positive and friendly

3. Be consistent

Avoid confusion by making sure your body language and facial expressions match the words you’re speaking.

4. Make eye contact and respect personal space

• Approach from the front so they can see you coming and have a chance to process who you are and the fact that you’re going to interact with them
• Don’t stand too close or stand over them – it can feel unsafe
• Keep your face at or below their eye level. This helps them feel more in control of the situation
• Make and maintain eye contact while having a conversation

5. Use a gentle touch to reassure

Physical touch can offer comfort and reassurance, but be sure to observe to ensure they’re comfortable with the touch.

This could include:

• Shaking hands
• Patting or holding their hand
• Patting or rubbing their shoulder or back
• Putting an arm around them
• Giving a hug

6. Observe their nonverbal reactions

Dementia may make it difficult for your older adult to express themselves verbally.

Watch for signs of frustration, anger, or fear and adjust your responses and actions to calm or soothe as needed.

Final Thoughts on Talking to Someone with Dementia

Transforming your body language is an act of compassion that benefits you both. As you consciously slow your movements, soften your gaze, and open your posture, you are not just managing a behavior; you are building a bridge to a shared moment of calm.

This practice has a remarkable boomerang effect: the serenity you project soothes your loved one, and their calm, in turn, replenishes your own patience. Start with a straightforward shift today, and discover how the quiet power of your presence can become the cornerstone of more peaceful, connected days.

Recommended for you:

• How to Talk to Someone with Alzheimer’s: Short, Direct Sentences
• 6 Positive Ways to Approach Someone with Dementia
• Solve Challenging Alzheimer’s Behaviors with Expert Communication Tips