4 Tips to Solve Caregiving Challenges with Siblings

When a parent needs care, the sibling relationship you thought you knew can suddenly feel like unfamiliar and stressful territory. What should be a united front often becomes a source of tension, with disagreements over expectations, finances, and responsibilities leading to frustration and resentment.

Old family dynamics resurface, and conversations meant to plan care can quickly escalate into arguments. Navigating this complex emotional landscape while ensuring your parent receives the best support can feel impossible.

But there is a path forward. By adopting a few key strategies focused on communication and compassion, you can transform sibling conflict into a collaborative partnership, ensuring your parent receives the care they deserve while preserving your family bonds.

Working with siblings to care for aging parents can add another layer of stress. All Home Care Matters discusses four challenges of caregiving with siblings and shares four tips for navigating this complex terrain.

Caregiving with Siblings Can Cause Challenges

Caring for elderly parents is a challenging task that many adult children face. In 2022, roughly 17% of adults became part-time or full-time caregivers for their parents.

Navigating caregiving can be especially challenging when siblings work together to care for aging parents.

While the desire to care for aging parents is often driven by love and compassion, it can also lead to conflict, resentment, and tension among siblings.

Siblings may struggle to balance caregiving responsibilities with other life demands, financial concerns, and emotional stress.

However, with effort and a focus on compassion, siblings can work together to provide the best possible care for their aging parents while maintaining healthy relationships with each other.

Below, we explore four challenges of caregiving with siblings and share four tips for navigating this complex terrain.

4 Challenges of Caregiving with Siblings

1. Different expectations among siblings can be challenging when it comes to caregiving

One of the primary challenges of caring for elderly parents with siblings is managing each person’s different expectations and priorities.

Often, each sibling will have a different idea of what their parents need, which can lead to disagreements about how to best care for them.

For example, one sibling may believe their parents should receive round-the-clock care in a nursing home, while another may prefer to provide in-home care. Or, a sibling could be in denial about their parent’s care needs.

This can lead to conflicts that are difficult to resolve, especially when siblings have different levels of caregiving involvement.

Family matters can be especially tricky when they involve emotional concerns, such as concern for parents.

The National Study of Caregiving found that most caregivers reported low levels of conflict, but a quarter experienced intense strife in at least one area of family conflict.

2. Balancing responsibilities with siblings can be stressful

Another challenge is balancing the responsibilities of caring for aging parents with other life demands.

Siblings may have different work schedules, family commitments, or other significant obligations that make it challenging to maintain a regular caregiving routine.

This can lead to guilt or resentment among siblings who feel they are not adequately supporting their parents.

3. Financial concerns can cause tension when caregiving for aging parents

Financial concerns can also be a source of tension among siblings.

Caring for aging parents can be expensive, especially if they require professional medical care or in-home assistance.

One sibling may feel that they are shouldering more of the financial burden than others, leading to resentment and frustration. 

Siblings need to have open, honest conversations about financial responsibilities and to develop a plan that is fair and equitable for everyone involved.

4. Emotional stress can be challenging for siblings

Emotional stress is another significant challenge for siblings caring for elderly parents. 

Watching parents age and decline can be a painful and emotional experience. 

Siblings may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for their parents, anxious about their health and well-being, or sad about the loss of their independence. 

This emotional stress can lead to conflict and tension among siblings as they struggle to cope with their own feelings and support one another.

4 Tips for Navigating the Challenges of Caregiving with Siblings

1. Regular and open communication

Communication is key to managing the challenges of caring for elderly parents as siblings.

Regular and open communication can help siblings to clarify expectations, share concerns, and work together to make decisions about their parents’ care.

Siblings will need to listen to each other and respect each other’s opinions, even when they inevitably disagree.

As the health and needs of aging parents change, so will siblings’ caregiving responsibilities.

Maintaining regular communication and reevaluating the caregiving plan as needed can help ensure everyone is aligned.

2. Setting boundaries is important

Setting boundaries is another essential for managing the stress that comes with this territory. 

Siblings should be clear about their own limitations and communicate them with each other. 

This can help to avoid burnout and resentment among siblings who may feel that they are carrying too much of the caregiving load.

3. Splitting up responsibilities can help with caregiving for aging parents

Distributing responsibilities can also help to ease the burden of caring for elderly parents. 

Siblings can work together to identify tasks that each is willing and able to take on, such as scheduling doctors’ appointments, managing finances, or providing transportation.

Splitting tasks can help ensure no sibling is overwhelmed by caregiving responsibilities and foster a sense of shared responsibility and teamwork.

4. Don’t forget self-care for caregivers

Last but certainly not least, siblings need to prioritize self-care while caring for their elderly parents.

This could include setting aside time for hobbies and self-care, seeking support from others, or attending professional counseling if needed.

Caring for elderly parents can take its toll over time, and siblings need to prioritize their own well-being to be effective caregivers.

Final Thoughts on Caregiving Challenges with Siblings

Successfully managing caregiving with your siblings is less about achieving perfect harmony and more about building a workable, respectful partnership. By committing to regular, open communication, setting clear boundaries, dividing responsibilities fairly, and prioritizing your self-care, you create a sustainable system that benefits both your parent and your family’s well-being.

Remember, the goal isn’t to erase all conflict but to navigate it with empathy and a shared focus on your parents’ needs. When siblings work together effectively, you lighten the load for everyone and provide a more stable, loving environment for your aging parent.

This journey, though challenging, can ultimately strengthen your family ties and bring profound peace of mind, knowing you are all doing your best together.

Recommended for you:

• 4 Tips to Get Siblings to Help Care for Aging Parents
• Caregiving with Siblings: 5 Tips for Working Together
• 6 Ways to Improve the Situation When Siblings Don’t Help with Aging Parents

 

Guest contributor: Lance A. Slatton is a senior case manager at Enriched Life Home Care Services in Livonia, MI. He is also the host of the podcast All Home Care Matters, a must-listen on both the podcast and YouTube. By subscribing to the show, you will gain access to a wealth of information and tips that can help you provide the best possible care for your loved one.

 

References:
– https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK396398/
– https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25247325/
– https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8872093/