Beating up on yourself increases caregiver stress
Caring for an older adult is tough – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The way we treat ourselves can add to that stress.
How many times have you beat yourself up for a small mistake or for not being able to meet an impossible goal?
This added emotional stress contributes to caregiver burnout.
Being hard on yourself is only natural. You want the best for your older adult and you’re pushing yourself to the max in order to give it to them.
But it’s also important to realize that being hard on yourself increases stress and makes it more difficult to sustain caregiving in the long run.
To help you be kinder to yourself and reduce stress, we found 18 quick and simple self-compassion tools from a leading psychologist.
How self-compassion helps caregivers
Self-compassion means giving the same kindness and sympathy to yourself as you would give to a good friend.
Psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff is an expert in self-compassion.
Her research finds that people who are compassionate to themselves are less likely to be depressed, anxious, or stressed. They’re also more likely to be happy, resilient, and optimistic about the future.
Think of the way you’d talk to your friend and contrast that with how you normally talk to yourself. Pretty different, right?
Having self-compassion basically means being nicer to yourself – a sure way to feel better, no matter what else is going on around you.
25 self-compassion tools reduce caregiver stress
Dr. Neff’s website has 25 free resources to help you practice self-compassion.
17 guided meditations
These 17 guided meditations make it easy to get started with meditation.
Just find a quiet place and play the recording. The soothing voice will guide you through a relaxing exercise.
The meditations range from 5 to 23 minutes in length. They’re a great way for busy caregivers to fit much-needed mental breaks into their day.
Choose a meditation »
8 self-compassion exercises
Take a look at these 8 exercises and see which ones call out to you. Each is a quick and simple way to show yourself some kindness.
1. How would you treat a friend?
This exercise helps you think about how you would talk to a friend who needs support and then helps you apply that same compassion to yourself.
Give it a try »
2. Self-compassion break
This exercise helps you pause and regroup when you’re feeling stressed.
Give this a try »
3. Explore self-compassion through writing
This exercise helps you write a compassionate letter to yourself about something you’re struggling with.
Give this a try »
4. Supportive touch
In this exercise you will learn how to activate your parasympathetic nervous system by using physical touch. Soothing and supportive touch can help you feel calm, cared for and safe.
Give this a try »
5. Changing your critical self-talk
We often speak harshly to ourselves and blame ourselves unfairly.
This exercise helps you notice when it’s happening and how to gradually change those thoughts.
Give this a try »
6. Self-compassion journal
A daily journal helps you process the difficult events of your day.
When you have a few quiet moments, this gives you a chance to review the day’s events and write down anything you felt bad about, judged yourself for, or difficult experiences that caused you pain.
Give this a try »
7. Identifying what we really want
Be aware of when you use self-criticism as a way to motivate you.
This exercise helps you reframe the way you talk to yourself, more like how a supportive friend would encourage you.
Give this a try »
8. Taking care of the caregiver
This exercise helps people who care for others take care of themselves too. It encourages you to find ways to recharge and meet your own needs.
Give this a try »
Next Step Get all 25 free self-compassion tools at Dr. Neff’s website
Recommended for you:
- 4 Ways to Reduce Caregiver Stress with Positive Self Talk
- Caregivers Get Speedy Meditation Benefits with 5 Simple Apps
- 15 Affordable Stress Relief Products That Help Caregivers Relax and Unwind
By DailyCaring Editorial Team
Image: The CLR Group
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About the Author
Connie is the founder of DailyCaring.com and was a hands-on caregiver for her grandmother for 20 years. (Grandma made it to 101 years old!) She knows how challenging, overwhelming, and all-consuming caring for an older adult can be. She also understands the importance of support, especially in the form of practical solutions, valuable resources, and self-care tips.
